I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
