You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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