my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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