Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish they made helmets for livers.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
