there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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