just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
