in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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