I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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