What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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