I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
