I hate your face
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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