hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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