just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
