saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
