and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
All I want is dick and wine.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
