the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
