have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
how do you play pong handcuffed?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
