You're so nebulous sometimes
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
