found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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