dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
