So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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