Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have feelings that need drinking.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
