It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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