I smell stomach acid.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
