new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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