I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
ok first of all what the fuck
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
