I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
