sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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