Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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