I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Duck Duck Cougar?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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