Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
