Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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