Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
