last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
