if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
