Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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