You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
