Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
