I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
