i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
