There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
