I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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