My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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