yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
