"it" just moved
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
