That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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