Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
