i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
