i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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