Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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