he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
