he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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