Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
