he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
