There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
